My personal experience during first trimester while also having a toddler.
I’ll start by first just acknowledging how each and every pregnancy for each and every person is different from the next and while some of my second pregnancy experiences might resonate with you, they also might not! So while I’m excited to share about my personal experiences, if reading about conceiving/pregnancy/birth/etc is triggering for you, please know I’m thinking about you and give yourself permission to skip these topics.
FINDING OUT I WAS PREGNANT (in a hotel bathroom)
We found out I was pregnant when I was just four weeks along! We were on the second to last day of a two week road trip to Glacier National Park and back (our first BIG road/family trip with Ruth!) We were in a hotel in the twin cities and I was having some SERIOUS stomach cramps (like, I laid in bed all day while Edgar went on solo adventures with Ruth which is SO not like me.)
I took a test knowing it was pretty much the soonest day I could get an accurate reading based on my last period (which lol I only had…three? periods since I had Ruth which means I only had three periods from jan 2020-july 2022 when I got pregnant again. IT WAS AWESOME!) Anyways, because of the cramping I decided to try a test in the hotel bathroom. It almost instantly showed two lines so I handed it to Ruth (because I literally never go to the bathroom alone these days lol) and told her to go show papa.
…We cried and hugged and kissed and laughed and cried more! We felt so much happiness and excitement….and also lots of stomach pain for me so I texted my midwife right away to make sure everything was a-okay! Turns out I just happened to have a stomach bug the same day I found out I was pregnant and they were totally unrelated! (a huge relief!!!)
Pretty quickly after finding out I was pregnant is when my first trimester symptoms kicked in. Similar to my pregnancy with Ruth, I rarely (occasionally but not super often) got any kind of nausea (sending SO MUCH love for those of you who get nauseous during pregnancy, I feel SO LUCKY that for both of my pregnancies it’s been a relatively rare occurrence.
fun fact during first trimester I think I took…5? pregnancy tests before our first ultrasound juuuust to be sure ;)
soooo…what symptoms DID I have?
The first to set in and most noticeable right away was pretty bad uterine cramping on a regular basis during those first handful of weeks. It could have been implantation cramping, but with how often I got them it seemed like something different. (if you experience this please make sure you let your healthcare provider know!!) After talking with my midwife, we were able to rule out everything that would be concerning to the pregnancy. After talking with a few mom friends who have had multiple kids (or are also currently pregnant) and also breastfed during their second/third pregnancies I felt inclined to believe that my cramping was due to how often I was still breastfeeding Ruth (who was 22 months when I first got a positive test.)
My other major first trimester (aaaand into second trimester) symptom was/is sheer exhaustion. Within a week or two of getting home from GNP I lost so much energy. I felt SO much more tired during my second pregnancy than I did while pregnant with Ruth. There are, of course, a few reasons for that. The obvious is that this time around I was also chasing around a very active (and dare I say demanding or clingy even ;) toddler. I was also nursing Ruth A LOT (we’re talking every 1-3 hours unless I was away from her) day AND night. Producing breastmilk consumes roughly 25-30% of your daily energy (the brain only consumes 20% by comparison lol.) It’s also well known that pregnancy is the most energetically expensive activity the body can maintain for 9 months (seriously, it’s compared to marathon running for 40 weeks straight.) Sooooo, it makes a lot of sense why I was so darn tired during first trimester. (in second trimester as I’m writing this and my energy is slowly, but surely, coming back! thank goodness!!!!)
On the breastfeeding note- as I mentioned we were intentionally trying to conceive and I was actively breastfeeding. I have heard so many beautiful stories of nursing during pregnancy and even tandem nursing with a newborn and a toddler. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect nursing while pregnant and didn’t have a set plan on when I would wean Ruth or if I’d let her naturally wean herself. That said, after those first few weeks of pregnancy nursing became VERY uncomfortable for me. My nipples were soooo sensitive and latching hurt every single time (which obv wasn’t an issue for us before becoming pregnant.) I also found myself getting pretty irritable when we’d nurse. I finally understood being “touched out.” I was getting annoyed with how much she wanted to nurse and more and more kind of just felt sick to my stomach. Everyone’s breastfeeding experience is different and this is not to say if you nurse during pregnancy you’ll feel the same way I did. But I want to share my honest experience because I definitely wasn’t prepared for how painful and off putting I would find it.
A new symptom for me this time around was food aversions! I really didn’t have this with Ruth but during first trimester suddenly some of my favorites sounded terrible…and still do a little :( I used to drink a huge mega healthy protein PACKED smoothie for breakfast every morning and suddenly the thought of it made my stomach turn a little. Soooo, making sure I got enough protein and other nutrients became a little more challenging.
And finally there were (and still occasionally are) pretty severe pregnancy headaches. I’ve always been a headache prone person (everything from a deviated septum causing sinus headaches, to holding tension in my shoulders, to having arthritis in the back of my neck which often causes headaches) but over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at naturally managing them! But both pregnancies right towards the end of first trimester into the beginning of second trimester I start getting these pretty intense full head headaches. I’ve talked with my midwife about them a lot and have found a few things that have helped reduce them, both in severity and frequency!
The practical things I did to manage allllll my symptoms during first trimester-
#1 NAUSEA: I’ll only tough on this briefly because again, I don’t have a TON of experience with this but it’s not like I NEVER got any amount of nausea during first trimester so I do have SOME tricks up my sleeve.
whenever I got nauseous I often found it helpful to just eat something. With both pregnancies I’ve noticed an increase in appetite right away (especially when I was pregnant with Ruth I felt so ravenous all the time lol) but quickly eating a snack ideally with protein often helped calm my stomach down. Making sure I brought snacks everywhere (not just for Ruth) made a big difference.
putting a drop of peppermint EO in my palms and taking some deep breaths. Peppermint has been used for a looooong time to naturally support digestion and stomach upset. You can dilute it with some carrier oil and apply it to your stomach (for more serious support) or take some deep breaths just to kind of calm that yucky feeling down.
diffusing peppermint and lemon or other citrus oils can be nice too if you feel sensitive to smells (esp food smells) during first trimester.
eating these ginger candies. Ginger is another one that has been used forever to aid with stomach concerns. I’m a big fan of ginger candies/chews/hard candies/etc for managing nausea, but teas and gingery foods or ginger EO can be super helpful too!
#2 PREGNANCY HEADACHES: please please please talk with your healthcare provider if you’re experiencing more/or more intense headaches during pregnancy! This is what helped me and might help you but it’s important to touch base with your provider on this one. There are a lot of reasons you might get headaches during pregnancy but for me it seems like the biggest contributor is not eating often enough.
my midwife advised me to eat every two hours all day long and even to have a snack if I wake at night and felt up for a snack to go ahead and eat one! trying my best to eat every two hours or so during the day has made a big difference with my headaches! I will say though this is a preventative measure and didn’t really help me much if it was too late and I already had a bad headache. But otherwise keeping lots of protein rich snacks on hand and always having meals prepared in the fridge (to avoid lunch time rolling around and me realizing there isn’t anything to eat and then getting overly hungry) has been super helpful. needing to eat more during pregnancy is NORMAL and I very much tend to just trust my body on this one. Do I eat the occasional treat? Yes! But remembering it’s a treat and letting myself eat as much nourishing foods during the day as I need to! Weight gain during pregnancy is normal and not something I worry about or that we should feel ashamed about!
okay so when I forget to eat or missed my opportunity and a headache has set in, the most effective pain relief for me is (and always has been) peppermint essential oil applied to the base of my skull/back of my neck and to my temples/forehead (AVOID YOUR EYES!!) I rarely take Tylenol/ibuprofen as it is but I especially avoid them during pregnancy!! Everyone is different and has different reactions to oils (esp during pregnancy.) Most essential oil books or aromatherapy books tend to say to use peppermint sparingly during pregnancy (so, it doesn’t have to be completely avoided like some oils!!) and for me it so far hasn’t led to any complications. What it does do though is pretty much INSTANTLY numb the area it’s applied to. There have been studies that show it’s even more effective than over the counter pain meds at reducing headache pain!!
#3 FOOD AVERSIONS: okay so managing my need to eat often to help my rare nausea and keep headaches at bay was kind of challenging given the fact that I had food aversions for the first time…ever.
go to the store (I’d recommend a food co-op or whole foods for slightly healthier options) and seek out any foods/snacks that have a decent amount of protein in that sound good. I, for example, don’t typically eat a lot of “fake meats” (except the occasional Beyond burger or brat because they’re so good and have a cleaner ingredients than most meat alternatives) but found myself eating them a little more during first trimester simply to get some protein in. If you don’t know, I mostly haven’t eaten meat or dairy in many years (I’d say I’m a vegan but I eat honey and occasional eggs) there are a thousand reasons for this choice and this is not the post for that lol I KNEW my body needed more protein though and I couldn’t bring myself to eat meat so I did what I needed to and ate a few more meat alternatives throughout the week without feeling any guilt. (especially first trimester the baby is being grown using your nutrient stores NOT from what you’re currently consuming- this doesn’t mean to eat junk 24/7 first trimester but it does mean if you’re sick a lot or having food aversions to not worry too much about your baby not getting what they need- it also means it’s a great idea to eat and supplement really well long BEFORE you get pregnant so your body has great nutrient stores.)
anyways go to the store and grab anything that sounds good to you and is full of protein (& ideally not a ton of sugar)
on the egg note- I did actually start eating eggs again during first trimester (organic pasture raised eggs are SO nutrient dense -quality of eggs makes a huge difference in their nutrient levels- and are a great way to support your needs during pregnancy) anyways, eggs are one of the foods ruth has a food sensitivity to but we have been slowly reintroducing those foods so we tried eggs and after a few weeks it became clear she was having some eczema show up on her face so we cut eggs again and it cleared right up!)
always think, “how can I add more protein to this snack/meal?” sprinkle some hemp seeds on a piece of peanut butter toast, add walnuts to your pancakes (& make them with oat/garbanzo flour!) add beans and/or quinoa to soups that maybe don’t call for them. if I make a soup that’s pureed, I ALWAYS add 1-2 cans of garbanzos or white beans. You can’t taste them at all or notice the texture if blended well and they add lots of protein. drink an extra protein shake or smoothie during the day. add chia seeds to your water, nut butter to your fruit, hummus with your veggies/crackers, seeds/nuts/full fat coconut milk to your oatmeal, etc etc etc.
protein rich foods that didn’t make my stomach turn (of course we’ll each have a different list here but in case you need some things to try here’s what worked for me)
rightrice! it’s like rice but made of chickpeas and lentils making it much higher in protein. I would eat it plain sometimes but usually added it to a meal (that already had 1-2 protein sources in it) for an extra boost!
beyond brand and fieldroast meat alternatives. the beyond breakfast sausages are a biiiiig hit with me lol.
nuts- also nut butters. sneaking them into everything from pancakes, smoothies, savory food dishes, etc. or just eating them plain!
seeds & beans.
tofu (not tempeh- which I loved and am starting to eat again but did not have interest in during first trimester.)
#4 EXHAUSTION: being tired during first trimester is another normal symptom (umm HELLO you’re making a BABY!!!!! of course we’re tired.) but like I mentioned being pregnant and breastfeeding and keeping up with a toddler made me feel more tired than any of the sleepless nights I’ve ever had with Ruth. Here’s what helped.
drinking lots of ningxia red. My caffeine intake was already cut with breastfeeding and during pregnancy I personally choose to cut back even further. I love ningxia because it’s proven to increase energy levels (and aids in more restful sleep AND reduces stress levels?!) it also doesn’t actually have caffeine or added sugars or any artificial ingredients (like colors) and it tastes SO good! read more about the clinical studies here.
taking a deep inhale with peppermint eo in the palms of my hands. this was a go to when I just felt extreme brain fog and needed to not feel like I couldn’t think straight lol.
sleeping in on the weekends when Edgar is home in the mornings to get up with ruth.
making sure I was taking my prenatal supplement regimen, adding minerals to my water, and drinking lots of electrolyte water!
adjusting my workout habits. I really believe in listening to your body and while it’s absolutely true that staying active increases your energy levels, I knew I just couldn’t do more intense workouts during those weeks. lots of walks through the neighborhood and prenatal yoga/daily stretching did the trick. now that I’m getting my energy back I’m starting to do more semi intense workouts and it feels good again!
The practical (and not so practical) things I did to deal with all of this AND be a good/attentive/present mom for Ruth-
I tried to embrace the season I was in and slowed down as much as possible and probably will find myself slowing back down during third trimester. These are the last months Ruth has of being an only child and are the last months I’ll ever have with just her. So why not try to cozy in and enjoy them a little with her.
This was hard though because we actually were pretty busy during first trimester so I took slow days any chance I could! We were traveling, had a wedding, family visits, beginning of the school year business for Edgar (and adjustment period for Ruth and I), Ruth’s birthday, a trip to Salt Lake City, garden stuff to keep up with/yard work, a few small house projects, friend visits, etc.
While it was hard to do with little energy I tried my best to keep up with the things that were good for my mental health and tried to let go of the rest.
So here’s a list of things that helped:
asking for help!! we got a babysitter a couple times, I often told Edgar when I need a break/alone time (he’s also a champ at just doing this- taking Ruth to go play, run errands, do chores, etc without me needing to ask!!)
accepting help when it’s offered!! we SO lucked out and the most lovely neighbor offered to start playing with Ruth a few hours a week and it’s been SO good for her AND me. I can make a little list of things I need to do that week and tell myself “I can do that while Ruth is with Carol.” and it takes a lot of the mental load away instead of constantly feeling like I need to multitask or “when am I ever going to do ___??” I definitely feel like having help for just 2-4 hours a week (during the work days) has improved my mental health and made me a more present mom for Ruth.
introducing a little screen time with Ruth. We haven’t really done screens with her almost ever but basically once I got pregnant again we started to allow it 0-3 times a week. We’re pretty selective of what she watches. I wrote a whole blog post on why we didn’t do screens with her. But I’m no longer in a season where zero tv/screens is sustainable for me and she’s at least a little older now (started slowly with screens around 22 months) so I don’t feel very guilty about it. There are a lot of reasons why parents choose tv/screen time and for me it’s when it’s the couple times a week when it’s 3 in the afternoon and I’m just too tired to physically or mentally do much with her until Edgar gets home at 4. We don’t watch for a full hour by any means but it does just give me a moment to sit and not have to think about anything for a few minutes.
remembering this is a season. in 30 years I will not care how clean my house was during this season. what I will miss is the time spent playing with Ruth while also growing our second baby. I’ll understand that those two things, giving Ruth attention and spending energy making a baby, are what was important during this season, not having a picture perfect house 24/7. (don’t get me wrong it stresses me the heck out if my house is a tornado sometimes so I try to at least keep it halfway tidy but also try to let go of what I can)
slooooowly day and night weaning! I reduced day time nursing but kept doing it longer than I did night feeds. we night weaned Ruth completely over the course of a couple weeks. If you want to learn more about how we day and night weaned Ruth, check my weaning highlights on Instagram and stay tuned for an (even more) detailed blog post!
And there you have it, folks! My tried and true first trimester (with a toddler!) survival kit. I genuinely hope it helps!!!
