My 7 favorite parenting books (so far!)

While I genuinely think you DO NOT need to read 2973 parenting books in order to be a good parent, that you’re allowed to trust your instincts and don’t have to find the answer elsewhere, I personally have found it helpful to read a handful of parenting related books in my two years of being a mom! Learning about infant, toddler, kid brain development I think can be SO helpful when it comes to what we can expect from our kids. Learning more about ourselves and why we parent the way we parent and…learning to reparent ourselves I think can be very powerful and helpful too! And of course, learning how other cultures go about child rearing certainly has its benefits.

I’m also someone who before becoming a mom was a teacher (meaning - I enjoy understanding how to work with kids at various developmental stages) and now am a full time mom / infant and toddler sleep specialist so I sort of see it as my job to keep myself informed on these things.

There are 97323 parenting books out there and some of them are GREAT and some of them are downright cruel and damaging. These are some of my favorites so far and would recommend to anyone! One tip before we go on: when reading parenting books I like to take the approach of “take what you like, leave what you don’t.” Just because you read a parenting book or because I recommend one doesn’t mean every single sentence of every single parenting book will resonate with you and that’s okay! Reflect and use the parts that make sense for your family and scrap what doesn’t.

1. The Conscious Parent - Dr. Shefali Tsabary

   This is on my “re-read” list. This book encourages you to get to understand yourself better and see yourself as more of an equal to your child. (not in a permissive/have no boundaries kind of way, but in a I don’t have to have all the answers/always be “in charge”) Addressing why you’re feeling certain feelings about your child’s behavior and how you might handle those feelings/reactions. So if you’re looking to better understand your kids AND yourself and work in harmony with each other, I highly recommend this book!

2. Safe Infant Sleep - James McKenna, PhD

   Okay this one is fact heavy/dense but also provides SUCH validation and reassurance that it is in fact okay to bed share / breastsleep! So this might not be for everyone (and I share lots of snippets from this book here on the blog and on my instagram page) but if you’re at all wanting to bed share but are feeling nervous/anxious/pressured to not, THIS is the book to calm your nerves and offer you lots of data/facts and most importantly, confidence in your parenting decisions.

3. Rest, Play, Grow - Dr. Deborah MacNamara

   I found this book SO helpful as we started to navigate the toddler age! It offers a lot in terms of how toddler/kid brains work and develop and helps you to understand how to best work with them instead of societies unrealistic expectations of toddlers. It also addresses the critical role that adults/primary caregivers play in a child’s life from infancy onward. Based on science, attachment theory, and relational developmental the book does a great job of helping parents understand what’s going on with their baby/toddler/kid, how to foster a healthy relationship with them, the importance of play, and appropriate “discipline” techniques. Highly recommend, especially if you’re struggling in toddlerhood!

4. The Danish Way of Parenting - Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Dandahl

   Long story short, this book takes a look at how Danish parents…parent..and shares some of the commonalities! Year after year Denmark is consistently rated the happiest country IN THE WORLD. What a title to earn for multiple years in a row! This was one that really validated things I was already doing and aligned with a good amount of my parenting…philosophies? Bonus: this book is a quick read!

5. There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather - Linda Akeson McGurk

   In this book, Linda Akeson McGurk takes you through her year spent living back in Sweden with her two children and discusses some of the many family values/parenting strategies of Swedish parents. This one will really encourage you to get outside with your kids (or get your kids outside without you!) The Swedes are known for their connection to the environment and love for spending time outside in any weather conditions.

6. Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin

   This was the FIRST book I started reading when I first found out I was pregnant with Ruth. Full of beautiful birth stories and wisdom and practical tools from Ina May Gaskin (the mother of midwifery if you will.) Whether or not you’re planning a home birth, I highly recommend this book during (or before!) pregnancy. I plan on re-reading this one before I get much farther along in my second pregnancy!

7. Hunt, Gather, Parent - Michaeleen Doucleff

   Michaeleen Doucleff, an NPR reporter with a toddler herself, sets out to live in various tribal communities around the world to get a better understanding of their parenting practices. She of course gains lots of great insights into the parent/child/family dynamics and shares her findings and personal parenting reflections. In many ways this book was validating for me and gives you the “get back to your roots, trust your instincts” kind of feeling.

Honorable Mentions:

1. The Montessori Baby

2. The Montessori Toddler

   Both of these books come in a super easy to read / flip through sort of format which I love and are still super informative about the Montessori methods of child development. I’ve read both and I don’t know that it’s absolutely necessary to read both cover to cover, but I have found them helpful as a foundation for how we set up our home, how we engage Ruth in everyday life, etc.

What I’m currently reading:

1. Hold On to your Kids - Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld.

   Highly recommend any videos/books/exerpts/etc by either of these two developmental psychologists!

2. Mindful Birthing - Nancy Bardacke

   I’m wanting to do a little more birth prep this time around (both mentally and physically) and my midwife highly recommended this book!

3. The Highly Sensitive Parent - Elaine Aron

   I don’t consider myself highly sensitive but darn close! So this book has been helpful so far in understanding some of my needs as a parent. There is also a “The Highly Sensitive Child” book which I plan to read and think would be very helpful if you think you might have a highly sensitive child.