Why We Choose To Not Use Screens & A Day In Our Screen Free Life
First off - while we choose to not expose Ruth to screens (99% of the time), I do not judge you if you choose to use screens with your kids! We’re in a season where it’s easy for us to avoid screens and not make them a part of our daily routine. But, if screens are what work for you family, they’re what work for your family and I genuinely do not judge you. And, you should NOT feel guilty around screens. That is NOT the intention behind this post. There will likely come a time that we use screens (have considered it for things like flights, long car rides, etc) and eventually I love the idea of a weekly family movie night but at 18 months it just doesn’t seem like it’s in our best interest. She definitely sees the screens of our phones a few times throughout the day, but we don’t let her play with our phones.
I hope this post helps to inform you, understand our personal reasonings, and get a glimpse of how we spend our time.
So, why no screens? There is a ton of research available (a quick google search will lead you to plenty of this!) about why screens might not be the best for young babies/toddlers/children/developing brains.
Because phones and tablets are so convenient, young children are more exposed to screen time than ever before. In fact, 40% of 3-month-olds and 90% of 2-year-olds are regularly watching programs on screens. (current AAP recommendations are no screen time before 18 months!!)
How screen time impacts brain development:
Exposure to screens reduces babies' ability to read human emotion and control their frustration. It also detracts from activities that help boost their brain power, like play and interacting with other children. But if you have to rely on screens at certain moments, just make sure to control the quality of what they see and engage with them while they’re watching. The benefits of limiting and even eliminating screen time in these early moments will last a lifetime. (unicef.org)
As part of a major research study of thousands of children to try to understand the impact of screen time on young children, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that children who reported more than two hours a day of screen time got lower scores on thinking and language tests.
That same study found that children with lots of screen time had a premature thinning of the outermost layer of their brains (the cerebral cortex). This layer is the most evolved brain region and supports the highest-order cognitive functions.
How screen time impacts physical development:
Babies’ sleep and subsequent brain development is potentially being harmed by touchscreen device use. A University of London study showed that there are “point by point” increases in sleep interruption, meaning that a quarter of an hour on a screen might be reflected in four minutes’ less sleep. Sleep is essential for the development of the brain, particularly during the first few years of life. The study was unable to determine any “cutoff” for screen use; there was no established amount that had zero impact.
Additional research has shown links between screen time and toddler obesity, sleep disruption during early childhood, and diminished fine motor development.
So, here’s a day in Ruth’s mostly screen free life!
These times are all estimates and of course things change depending on the weather, Ruth’s mood, plans we have/errands, etc. But this is loosely what we do in a day.
6:15-6:45 am: wakeup, nurse, and eventually head downstairs. Edgar leaves for work by 7 so we usually try to catch him for a few minutes, change her diaper, I quickly wash my face and put on a little makeup. She plays with him or plays with my makeup while I get ready.
7:15-8 am: put some tunes on (in our old school space saver under the kitchen cabinets CD player lol) make a smoothie for breakfast, nurse, have some coffee, clean up the kitchen from breakfast and probably read a couple books.
8-10 am: we usually throw in some laundry, get dressed, read a book, and head outside during this time. what we do outside varies but includes a range of these activities- take a walk (either with her in the back pack carrier or in the stroller) she walks around, picks up sticks and leaves, climbs over stuff, rolls a ball around, we just got a small slide/swing set that I’m sure she’ll get a lot of use out of, she likes to take the compost out sometimes I do an outdoor workout while she explores. We have a few outdoor toys and plan to get more but for the most part she really doesn’t need/expect anything when we’re outside, she just is content to explore a bit.
10:30-12:30 pm: somewhere in this time frame is when she typically takes a nap. we come inside, read books, might play a bit or have a snack or try to do a misc. house chore until she’s ready for nap. I nurse her to sleep in her bed and then I go work. sometimes I get too hungry and eat while she’s napping (and to eat in peace lol) and other times I wait until she’s up and eat with her!
12:30-1 pm: nurse after she wakes up and feed her lunch. She’d probably eat more lunch if I nursed her after but she’s pretty set on milk when she wakes up and I’m not concerned about her solids/milk intake so I’m fine with it. after she’s done eating I usually try to clean up the bigger messes in the kitchen but often leave out her food for a little while longer on the counter with her kitchen helped stand in front of it in case she wants to come back for more a little later.
1:15-4 pm: during the afternoon we probably spend at least 1 more hour outside if not more. it’s good for both of us so I try to maximize our time outside. Ruth is obsessed with reading books so we also read more books in the afternoon. I’ll do a few chores throughout this time too. I try to involve Ruth in as many chores as I can/as she’s interested in for a few reasons. 1) it helps teach her the things we need to do in order to make our household run smoothly & that she’s a contributing member of our family. 2) chores kind of serve as an activity for us that doesn’t require extra prep. she also usually will play toys on her own sometime during the afternoon (not usually for very long!) We also often cook and/or bake together during the afternoons.
4:00-5:00 pm: Edgar gets home from work usually around 4 and we typically eat dinner sometime between 4 & 5 pm as a family. Either Ruth and I make sometime fresh before he gets home or we reheat leftovers. We eat this early because 1) we’re hungry lol, 2) I usually go do some work during the evenings so it’s easier for me focus on work if it isn’t interrupted by dinner.
5:00-7:00 pm: After dinner I usually help clean up a bit and then go do some work (behind the closed door of my office/guest room otherwise Ruth would just cling to me lol) I also usually take a relax & unwind bath most nights for a bit so I get a little alone time that isn’t work based. During this time Edgar and Ruth get some one on one time! They often take a walk together and play outside, clean up, read books, and play in the house.
7:00-7:30 pm: usually we all hang out as a family for a bit before Ruth shows her sleepy cues (yawns, rubs her eyes, gets fussy/crabby, and if you ask her if she’s ready for bed and she responds with “bye!” if she doesn’t respond with “bye” it means she’s not ready.
7:30-8 pm: Edgar gives Ruth her evening supplements, brushes her teeth, changes her diaper and puts on her jammies, puts on her sleepy and teething oils if needed, and then hands her off to me and I nurse her to sleep in bed.
How I keep her entertained throughout the day:
when I talk about play time above I wanted to explain a little more of what that looks like. If I have the time to play with Ruth I do! But I don’t put pressure on myself to play with her nor do I put pressure on her to play by herself - it sort of balances out? If I do want her to play by herself so I can have a moment or get something done, I connect with her first.
1) I give her my undivided attention (yup no screens for either of us, no chores, no multitasking) for at least 10 minutes. I let her fill up her attachment cup before I expect (hope) her to do anything alone. Because yes there’s some benefit to independent play but it should never come at a cost. This technique usually works pretty well for us! She’ll often give me 5-20 minutes to do something else!
2) I don’t set up often set up activities for her. Sometimes I’ll set up something simple but I think constantly having a predetermined activity set up can lead to boredom and not being able to play independently/think of their own activities. Like I don’t want it to get to a point where she always expects me to plan something for her, I want her to be able to come up with ways to entertain herself. I also just feel like setting up elaborate activities is more work for me and I’m trying to run two businesses, stay present with my daughter, AND not do screens so elaborate activities just don’t make the cut.
3) I do do toy rotation though! Research shows that when young children have too many toy options available, the play is not as rich, independent, open ended, creative, or long lasting! So, we keep toys to minimum and rotate them every week or two. She definitely gets excited when I swap out her toys for “new” ones (that aren’t actually new but that she hasn’t played with in a few weeks.) also a note about toys- we do not buy battery powered/flashy/push button toys. To be frank they do not educate like they’re often advertised as. They require almost no effort (push a button, that’s it), usually don’t allow for any creativity, aren’t fun unless you push the button, and are very overstimulating. I have a post on IG about how we choose toys for Ruth.
4) I let her get involved with as many household chores as she wants! There’s a lot more behind this that I’ll explain in another blog post but basically if she expresses interest in something I’m doing I modify it/break it into steps that she can help with.
5) we spend tons of time reading books and playing outside. again, we have a few outdoor toys but she’s usually cool just exploring on her own!
And, as always, do what works for your family. I genuinely hope this post was informative and helpful and that none of it came off as high and mighty because that wasn’t my goal! When and if you do choose to do screen time my biggest recommendation would be to research the content of the shows/games and set time limits (after screen time go to another desired activity so there isn’t a big melt down!)
